I suppose I have always been a bit of an elitist when it comes to the English language, bristling when I hear it mangled by civilians and media talking heads alike. It is in fact less forgivable issuing from the mouths of television and radio types, since communication is reputedly their field of expertise. How can one communicate if one can't fit one's teeth and lips around the proper pronunciation of everyday words?
Herewith a short list of the malaprops and garbles that raise my blood pressure the highest when heard — and yes, I keep a registered nurse bedside to monitor that number 24/7 in the name of accuracy.
· Pundit — For some inexplicable reason, the pundits themselves can't seem to accept that this imported noun from India (meaning "scholar") has only one N and not two. Fox News is full of such offenders, including Harvard-uneducated Bill O'Reilly and the ever-backward Sarah Palindrome. Duncecaps for them both.
· Wimbledon — The famous British venue for grass-court tennis is often mispronounced, mostly by greenhorn Americans who can't seem to distinguish the difference between D's and T's — thus, the world's most famous tournament becomes Wimbleton. Correct this error if sitting down for tea and scones with proper Englishmen.
· Athlete — This simple-looking word invites the unlettered to add a gratuitous vowel in the middle, turning a two-syllable noun into a three-bagger. Ath-a-lete is the result, marking the offending speaker with a scarlet M on their forehead as a mangler of the spoken word.
· Espresso — In this coffee-centric age of ours, with a Starbucks on every corner and a generation raised on Italianate lattes and cappuccinos, you'd think folks could manage to mouth the first S in espresso. Instead, they hear an X and say expresso, a mark of the caffeine-illiterate. A sure path to social shunning is to order said beverage aloud without the proper consonant. Heaven forfend!
· Forte — A confession: I myself was guilty of this verbal sin when I first took a meeting with a veteran screenwriter in Hollywood. Fresh out of college, I told the gent that my for-tay was short fiction, but that I'd like to write for the movies. "The word is pronounced fort," he grumbled. "It is derived from the French, thus the E is silent." I stood corrected, and humbled.
· Height — I would estimate that out of every three televised sports broadcasts — especially basketball — at least one announcer will append an extra H to the end of this word, transforming the hard T sound to a TH. The result is heighth, which kind of rhymes with blithe. For consistency's sake, I guess you'd want to add an H to weight, too, making it weighth.
· Mischievous — Here is another egregious example of syllable-envy, as if four is far better and more literary-sounding than three! The word has but two I's and doesn't require a third at the end, yet still there are many who say mis-chee-vi-ous, a kind of mischief in itself (p.s., to be a real stickler, the pundints say that the accent should fall on the second syllable, not the first!).
· Nuclear — Lastly, when referring to all things fissionable, please don't follow the example of Presidents Eisenhower, Carter or Bush the Younger and say nuc-u-lar instead of noo-klee-ur. People often confuse this word with others ending in -ular (circular, cellular or jocular). Read the letters themselves, folks — they will ably guide the gums and choppers. Make proper pronunciation your forte….