Frank Moldstad is the only 50-something at a west coast digital marketing firm comprised almost entirely of 20-somethings. This is the ongoing story of his travails....
Because there is about a 30-year age gap between me and most of my co-workers, I am the resident expert on anything that happened before roughly 1990. Some of their questions I cannot answer, such as: What was the first LL Cool J album? But most are ridiculously easy. What was that old comic strip with all the kids? That would be "Peanuts." Five cents please.
Even at that price, I could make some money today. We are all standing out on the sidewalk because of a fire drill, talking about music. Or, rather, I am standing with everyone while they discuss whatever it is that they listen to. But suddenly, I am sucked into the conversation by Ringo, one of our account reps.
"Hey, I have a question," he says. "Have you ever heard of an old guy named Stan Morrison?"
"No, sorry," I say. "Don't know him. Does he work for one of our clients?"
"No, no, he's a singer," he says. "I downloaded a song of his to my iPhone yesterday. It was like jazz or something, pretty cool."
"You must mean Van Morrison," I say. "Was it a song called 'Moondance'?"
"Yeah, that's it," he says.
I feel compelled to explain why Van Morrison is not jazz. Not that it really matters to them, I guess. But it will bother me to think of Ringo out there in the world, talking up Van Morrison, jazz artist. Surprisingly, my co-workers are actually listening. Of course, what else are they going to do out here during a fire drill?
A few passersby stop and join us. I think they are under the impression that I am a tour guide or something. But they quickly lose interest in my music lesson and move on.
"As long as we're talking old school, there's a song I've been trying to find," says Mary, our IT person. "It's by a female singer, and I think it's about Alice in Wonderland. She keeps saying "go ask Alice."
"That must be 'White Rabbit,' by the Jefferson Airplane," I say. "They were a band that had a female singer."
"You sure know a lot of obscure stuff," says my cube-mate Evelyn, spinning the dial on her iPhone. "I'm downloading that song 'Moondance' before I forget it."
"Van Morrison isn't obscure," I protest. "He's just before your time. Someday your kids will ask questions like, 'Mom, have you ever heard of Lady Google?'"
"You mean Lady Gaga?" Evelyn says.